It’s finally here! The biggest film awards show in America goes off live in just under 90 minutes and I will be bringing you the action live. You can also follow on my Twitter feed if you prefer, as I can’t help but interact on such a popular night for geeks like me.
How it works is that you can just stay on this page and it will update live in front of you. The new posts will appear on top and I’ll do my best to snatch images off the TV with my camera phone as necessary. Who are you rooting for? Share your thoughts throughout the night and I’ll chime in as well. See you at 8:30 EST.
The Oscars are over, the prizes have been handed out, and the live blog is complete. If you’re catching up the day after, start at the bottom and work your way to the top. Thanks for following along to everyone who checked in last night.
A song about all the losers? That’s…kind of a downer.
Kristen Chenoweth arrives to close the show with Seth.
Best Picture goes to Argo.
FLOTUS is the best presenter of the night.
Michelle Obama is actually presenting Best Picture. Shocker.
Jack Nicholson is presenting Best Picture…Again.
DDL makes a funny series of jokes about that awful Margaret Thatcher biopic and Lincoln. Good. That’s how you freshen up a stump speech, Miss Anne with an E Hathaway.
Best Actor goes to Daniel Day Lewis for Folksy 16th President: The Motion Picture.
Meryl Streep introduces Best Actor, narrowly avoids finally meeting Jennifer Lawrence.
Best Actress goes to Jennifer Lawrence for The Hunger Games. Shut up. I wrote it so it’s true.
That was for falling on the steps, not winning.
Jean DuJardin is up next to present Best Actress. He took the really bizarre comedy routine at his expense well earlier tonight.
Best Director goes to Ang Lee. Boom goes the dynamite.
Jane Fonda and Michael Douglas are ribbed for being old before presenting Best Director.
Original Screenplay goes to Quentin Tarantino for Django Unchained. Nailed it!
Charlize just said Michael Haneke’s name right. Go head.
Adapted Screenplay goes to Argo for a good one-liner driven into the ground by the end of the second act.
Dustin Hoffman and Charlize Theron are adorable, like when Adele stood next to Kristen Chenoweth on the red carpet. A tall woman and a wee little man.
Best Original Song goes to Adele and Paul Epworth for “Skyfall.” Adele starts crying.
Oh, wait. Norah Jones is now randomly performing the Ted song live.
Best Original Song only had two nominees perform live. That’s a significant improvement over none last year.
Best Original Score goes to Life of Pi.
Renee Zelwigger, Richard Gere, Queen Latifah, and Catherine Zeta Little Edie Jones come out to celebrate the 10th Anniversary of Chicago and present Best Original Score.
And a killer Rex Reed joke from Seth MacFarlane. Winner.
“Rex Reed will be out momentarily to review Adele’s performance of “Skyfall.”"
Babs? Babs is here? Love.
Wow. They muted the audience. Finally, a good decision from these monkeys in the editing bay.
George Clooney leads the In Memoriam tribute. Will they be classy and mute out the live audience or turn it into a morbid popularity contest again?
Salma Hayek presents the Governors Awards montage. And Seth MacFarlane makes fun of her for having an accident. It’s funny cause she doesn’t sound like us. Ha ha. Ha ha HA.
Production Design (!) goes to Lincoln. Snore.
Daniel Radcliffe and Kristen Stewart are presenting together and it’s as raggedy and bizarre as you would imagine.
Nicole Kidman presents the last three Best Picture nominees: Silver Linings Playbook, Django Unchained, and Amour.
Adele ain’t no Shirley Bassey (Or Paul F Tompkins), but she’s no slouch.
Jennifer Lawrence is a bundle of nerves introducing Adele. I think she’s nervous about Best Actress.
Best Editing (and presumably Best Picture) goes to Argo. Surprise.
Sandra Bullock comes out in a shiny tablecloth to present Best Editing.
Academy President Hopscotch Producerguy is giving some kind of speech. An Academy Awards Museum? Do tell.
Did anyone else catch that Amy Adams hopped up out of her seat and had her speech in her hand when Anne won?
And Anne “Don’t Forget the E, Stupid” Hathaway wins for Les Miserables.
Christopher Plummer is presenting Supporting Actress. Yay. Big fan and he’s so charming.
Aaron Tveit as Rolfe in Sound of Music with an old Family Guy joke.
Sound Editing goes to Zero Dark Thirty AND Skyfall.
Sound Mixing goes to Les Miserables for lying about what Sound Mixing is to gullible Academy voters.
Mark Wahlberg and “Ted” are presenting an Oscar. Of course they are.
Seth MacFarlane is taking the piss out of himself for Ted.
Zoe Saldana and Chris Pine are here for some reason. Saldana at least starred in Avatar.
Samantha Barks briefly wins MVP before Aaron Tveit serves face and vocals in the Les Mis performance. Anne Hathaway is going to beat him for that later.
Jennifer “Boomie” Hudson still can’t act. At least she can sing.
Catherine Zeta Jones is serving Little Edie eyes again. I think she can’t control it. How did Chicago not win Visual Effects?
Oh, wait. It’s Les Mis, Dreamgirls, and Chicago. Never mind.
John Travolta leading into a tribute to movie musicals. Very excited.
And special thanks to William Ross for choosing the Jaws theme as an extra special screw you to enthusiastic Oscar winners who aren’t A-List celebrities.
Foreign Language Film goes to Amour. The Oscars aren’t being teases tonight.
Jennifer Garner and Jessica Chastain are A) Lovely and B) presenting Foreign Language Film.
Best Documentary Feature goes to Searching for Sugar Man.
Ben Affleck was not in the audience for the Gigli joke. I repeat, NOT in the audience.
Second groaner of the night from Seth? A John Wilkes Booth joke.
In case you didn’t catch it, the young woman in between the Documentary Short winners was Inocente herself.
Liam Neeson gets called out for the Taken films. Then he introduces Argo, Lincoln, and Zero Dark Thirty for Best Picture. I now think the Academy is capping Best Picture at nine nominees so it’s easier to break up the introductions. Once is a chance but twice is a habit.
Documentary Short goes to Inocente.
Live Action Short goes to Curfew.
Django! Kerry Washington and Jamie Foxx are representing my second favorite Best Picture nominee.
Seth is sucking up to the producers. Someone wants to be the new Billy Crystal.
I feel bad for every singer who has to follow Dame Shirley Bassey performing “Goldfinger.”
Dame Shirley Bassey. I hope she sings. Glorious.
Bond Music Tribute; or, Where Did Best Original Song Go So Wrong?
Halle Berry introduces the 50th Anniversary of Bond tribute. Good choice. She gives good awards show.
Makeup and Hairstyling goes to
Best Costumes go to Anna Karenina. Love. Sad for Eiko’s last chance at an Oscar.
Channing Tatum, Jennifer Aniston, and a stripper joke. Keep it classy, Seth.
And shockingly offensive play-off music for visual effects artist petitioning the audience to help one of their own. Jaws is not a cute joke.
Visual Effects go to Life of Pi.
Cinematography goes to Life of Pi.
Oh look, it’s the cast of Avengers (minus Scarlett Johansson and dead/supporting characters). Why they’re presenting Cinematography I’ll never know.
Don’t you pick on Quvenzhane Wallis, Seth. I will cut you off.
Reese Witherspoon is barely introducing the Best Picture nominees: Les Mis, Life of Pi, Beasts of the Southern Wild.
Animated Feature goes to Brave in a shocker (except for Pixar almost always winning). Yawn.
Live Animated Short goes to Paperman. Told you.
Paul Rudd and Melissa McCarthy are doing really bad voice acting shtick.
It took 20 minutes to give Christoph Waltz a well-deserved second win.
Go head Octavia Spencer. Hand out that Oscar (preferably to Christoph Waltz).
Bless his heart. Daniel Radcliffe still can’t dance.
Amy Adams is gangster. I hope she does rush the stage and throwdown with Anne Hathaway.
A flying nun sight gag. I’m back on board.
Daniel Radcliffe and Joseph Gordon Levitt singing and dancing with Seth. I’d rather the full length cut of puppet Flight.
And now Charlize Theron and Channing Tatum are joining him for a live song and dance number about film that is terrible mixed so you can’t actually hear his vocal and lyrics.
Seth has lost half the audience with a pre-recorded song and dance routine about actresses revealing their breasts on film.
Judgmental William Shatner is Judgmental.
No, really. What is Captain Kirk doing on the Oscars telecast? Seriously. This has nothing to do with Music in Film.
Seth is rapidly losing the audience with a no holds barred quick quip monologue.
Seth is playing dark and nasty. I kind of like it.
Music in Film as the Oscar theme? Fantasies come true.
Seth MacFarlane is very relaxed and already has the crowd on his side. Good.